ATTENTION DECODED

Sometimes you feel like you are one let down away from a breakdown. It can feel much like control is slipping out of your hands. And there is this desperate need to grip something. The feeling of needing to hold on tight to something. Control was never in your hands. Total control over an outcome is an illusion. The only real control we have is in the way we react to situations. The way to train your reaction is to work on your perception of what goes on around you. Grab onto gratitude. Somewhere someone wishes your biggest problem was their smallest problem. This reminds you that you are blessed. But then some time passes and... Sometimes you feel like if someone asks you to help them talk through another "silly" problem you may lose your mind. Grab onto gratitude. Somewhere someone wishes they could be even a fraction as social and comfortable telling someone they desperately need help. This reminds you that you ar...

Post Traumatic Disappointment Disorder:  a made up term that describes a very real situation for a lot of us. Some clients come into the interview with baggage from a previous experience. That baggage will set the tone for your current relationship unless you re-set the stage. Most bad experiences are a result of someone or everyone in the partnership not ever fully understanding each other. When you know where you and your client stand on main issues, it serves as the foundation of the partnership. Disappointment is a high risk without this beginning clarity. Trust and disclosure work by one building up the other.  Demystifying how you do business will eliminate future conflicts. Promote yourself to every client as if they were a bank buying into your business plan. Make them want to give you a loan for your plan. They are investing in you. And so, giving them projected results is not enough. Tell them how you get those results....

You get "do overs" in life. All the time. It is a misconception that you won't get them. It is a misconception because we are used to hearing: "if I could go back in time I would do things so differently" But you do not need to bend time. The only possible way to repeat the past is to make the same past mistakes in your future. So just make a change. Even fractional changes will do. Making Small adjustments each time. Learning from the situations you would approach differently. There will always be another situation in the future you can apply that wisdom too. It is as close to a "do over" as you or I will ever get. Every passing moment is another chance to turn future outcomes into success stories. If you couldn't deliver the outcome a client wanted... It is in the past. But please do not dwell. Your future clients need confident you. They need the wiser and resilient you. They NEED you to help them with ...

Most people measure their talent by how quickly they can achieve something or how well they are able to talk people into things. That makes them feel important. Notice the main entity of importance for how they consider success: “ them” How well they can convince others. It is the wrong motivation and keeps the wrong entity a priority. It is the wrong motivation because quick convincing rarely leaves the client with warm fuzzies. More often a quick decision push also leaves people with an unexpected aftermath of an irreversible decision. What if success was measured by: How reassured you made people feel? Showing others what they are capable of accomplishing?   How you are able to keep hope alive for people? How you can help people realize their dreams? Be more than happy to let sharks tell you life is “sink or swim”. Let them circle around in the water. Burning energy and showcasing t...

Home is where the heart is. It is also where the heart rests, heals and gets ready to go again tomorrow. It is simple really. Home is where we all should be able to go and find peace. Even if that peace feels like the chaos of loud children and a spouse. It is ours. We sure can witness the over-complicating of that sentiment sometimes while working with people in search of their next home. All of the detains that surround the situation can cloud the reason we lead our clients through the process in the first place… To find home. So if home is mostly about heart... We shouldn’t shy away with connecting people back to what their hearts want. It is well known that the heart can lead us all over the place and never even try to make a clever excuse. It can do almost whatever it wants and still get a pass by saying: “The heart wants what the heart wants” And since we have all been there at one time or ano...

Most people have a certain amount of sympathy for their fellow man. Sympathy comes from a place where one person says to another: “I am sorry, I know how you feel”. And to some degree, they mean it. The person acknowledges the other person is going through a tough time because they themselves have also been in difficult situations. Because of their own experiences with struggle, they sympathize with the person who is currently struggling. The problem with giving sympathy is a two fold problem… #1. Is it runs out. People are sympathetic to others, but as soon as they feel they have provided the amount of sympathy they would receive if the rolls were reversed… They stop giving it. They think: “ enough, I have said enough”. Problem #2. Sympathy is usually a half-lie Not because we mean it that way. It is just that the odds of us feeling exactly how the other person feel s is almost impossible. We may feel similar, but similar and same are worlds ...