ATTENTION DECODED

At a certain point it is hard to convince yourself that listening to other experts in your field will make you better at your job. Maybe in the beginning of our careers it makes sense to hear about the different tactics other professionals use, but after a while you have heard all of the in the field strategies. Eventually getting better at your job means that you have to go outside of the very thing you do in order to build up your other supporting skill sets. You have to diversify your talents beyond what is listed in your job description. For example, if you are in the business of selling running shoes then at some point it makes sense that learning about something other than what you sell will be the skill set that allows you to sell shoes better than other shoe experts. For this reason, learning about human behavior and communication is the single most important thing you can do to stand out from the other experts in your field.  In a room full of people who all kno...

The best way I know to help another person who is feeling discouraged is to show them this picture. When we think of our worries and ourselves and we look at this picture at the same time… We are in that moment experiencing what it is to feel refreshingly humbled. The magnitude of what perspective can do for us hits home in this photograph. During even the most trying situations, comfort can be felt by seeing this tiny blue dot. “Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every t...

Most people who win or accomplish something difficult eventually ask themselves a version of this question... "When will I feel different?" It is a valid question. After all, when you come in first... You have won against impossible odds. Leaving a lot of truly talented people with second and third place trophies and prize money. Here is a two part answer to that question: 1.You probably won't feel different 2.That is probably a good thing. When we dream of doing remarkable things we build up a celebration scene in our minds that we will one day enjoy outside of our imagination. After every hard day while perusing this goal we keep ourselves motivated with this story. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that after this victory everything will be different somehow. Concluding that something must be different after such a giant accomplishment. The reality of life is that even a massive victory is a passing moment like ...

The Dilemma  If you work hard and make the sacrifices others are either unwilling or unable to make... One day you will find yourself having to make an uncomfortable choice as a contractor. You will eventually reach a crossroads where you have to decide if what you are doing now is the most you will do. The main constraint at this juncture is that you are at the mercy of physics like the rest of us. You can only be physically present in a certain number of places in one day before it becomes very obvious you have maxed out your time. Something big is happening here that many people do not think about. Most people think that if they chose to grow they are putting a lot on the line. Sacrificing family time or temporary income to train people to help you grow but that isn't what will change. If you are at this juncture you have the juggling thing down. The fact you have a decision to make rather than one that way decided by a lack of business proves my point. No, something more is goi...

Aggression and panic will never be a match for subtle confidence.  Panic's weakness is that it is telling . On the polar opposite of the emotional wheel you will find composure.  The silent poise and subtle confidence of the composed person is magnetic. It leaves room for good interpretation because there is nothing overpowering a poised person. The observer is left with no choice but to wonder... "What is this person thinking?" "Why are they so nonreactive?" The mysterious nature of composure can be authoritative and yet paradoxically calming at the same time. When the rest of the world overreacts, the poised individual responds. They do not respond right away but when they do...it is in the right way. This is someone that is good to have around. This is someone that we would not mind following. Being poised is easier if you have a good understanding of what is going on around you and why it is going on. The poised person thinks...

Maybe the answers for how we can all live and work together are not going to be found by deciding who or what group has the right answers. Perhaps a better way to go about any interaction is to soak in as much of another persons perspective as possible prior to asking for anything. After all, very few wars get started because everyone relentlessly wanted to understand each other... If we could only let go of the misconception that attempting to understand each other must mean that someone has to admit they are wrong. To understand does not mean to agree . If anything, it means to give dignity to everyone's opinion. Once all opinions are heard the best answer might just be a co-created one... "I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom, the...

Wave After Wave If you have ever seen someone surf a 30 foot wave... You will probably ask yourself the same question I did. "How did you do that?" How does a person get to the point where they are confident enough to try that? It is terrifying to watch. What makes it so terrifying is our human ability to picture ourselves in the same position. Of course when we insert us into the scene we are picturing a person who has likely never surfed a 30 foot wave. When the surfer drags her board out of the ocean I had to ask... Our conversation   Me: that was incredible! When did you get to the point where you one day said ok...I am ready for a 30 footer tomorrow? Surfer: I never had to ask myself that, it just naturally happened. Me: So... one day you casually just woke up, grabbed the board and said today is the day? Surfer: Not really... even the day I did it I did not make a conscious decision to try it... I just did it. Me: I don't think I could ever just do some...